LDR aka Long Distance Relationships!

Hey guys, I'm sure some of you will be able to relate to this. My gf's going to warwick and i'm gona be in soton so..things are gona be a bit strange! It would take at least 3 hrs by train to get there! To be honest our relationship has been really bad lately, and we have been together for almost 2yrs (by 6th Oct) so I've been thinking that the distance will help..to bring it to an end/give ourselves space.

Do you guys reckon Long Distance Relationships ever work?

Posted at 00:06:25 on 15-09-2005

From personal experience last year, and that of all my friends the pre-uni long distance relationships dont last. I'm not saying that there's no-one out there who is still with their School Sweetheart but on the whole it doesn't really work. You're both moving in different circles with different people and leading completely diffent lives. And if your relationship is at the stage where you are saying to complete stragners that things are really bad then i'd probably say that it wont last long at all so it may be better to end it before uni, face to face rather than over the phone once you r at uni.

There are plenty of great girls in soton so you'll be spoilt for choice for a replacement.

Good luck

Posted at 08:48:15 on 15-09-2005

Yeah, I agree with Daniel totally.  From the tone of your message it kinda seems like you're thinking it will come to an end.  It would be far better to end it now before you both leave for new places so that you don't spend your first week miserable!  You can both treat uni as a fresh start.  Mind you, that being said, when I was in halls my flatmate Lynsey's bf lived in Hertfordshire and she graduated last year and they moved in together and my other flatmate Jenny stayed with her bf the whole time and he was in Essex so it can work if you want it to.

 As Daniel said there are plenty of lovely girls down here - just check out the SUSU gallery!

Posted at 11:05:48 on 15-09-2005

How did Lynsey keep the relationship going?

Posted at 11:40:43 on 15-09-2005

I was in a similar position just before I started University, but I split up with my ex-girlfriend before we moved away. It proved a good decision as it meant we both began University as free agents, meaning we could enjoy University life to the utmost without having to try and maintain a relationship over hundreds of miles.

There are thousands of lovely ladies in Southampton, hopefully you will have more luck than I have had over the last 2 years!

Chris  

Posted at 11:51:50 on 15-09-2005

Luckily enough, I've managed to make an LDR work for almost a year. It's managable if you speak lots, and try to take weekend off to go and visit the person you're with. It's hard, but you can make it work. It's rewarding in the end, because you'll have learnt to trust your other half, and time apart won't be so hard, because you'll know you've done it before.

Although it's only a year we've been together now, we're talking about moving in together after I finish uni. So it can work, you just have to be dedicated.

But yes, university's a new environment, so... it's up to you!

Posted at 11:26:32 on 16-09-2005

Finally, some encouragement.. Thanks Drudwyn

My boyfriend's staying here in Malaysia so it's gonna be pretty hard for me to leave to Southampton..

But yeah, we've decided to give this a try, because I believe it's something worth trying

Posted at 15:03:03 on 16-09-2005

Wow, it's so nice to hear all this friendly advice from you guys! I know there is a slight chance for LDR's to work, but I think it really isn't worth it for this girl..

I'm glad that once I'm in soton she won't be able to *cling* - even though that sounds a bit harsh. Warwick is oh-so-far-away..

Nevertheless I still wish Norhidayah loadsa luck! For me, I'm looking forward to "a fresh start"! =P

Thanks for the link Laura!

Posted at 20:34:16 on 16-09-2005

I've been in a LDR for the past two years... Myself in England and my bf in N.Ireland and so it's not going to make that much difference to us when I move down to soton...

 so LDR do work but it really depends on the people and how well the relationship is going

Posted at 14:54:19 on 17-09-2005

In my experience long distance relationships are very complex and to date I haven't been able to make one work. That doesnt mean it can't happen - my flatmate was with her boyf from home all year and they're still strong. The thing about uni is tho, its a completely new experience, meeting so many new people that sometimes its easier if you're single. When I was at college my the boyfriend went to uni and we actually took a break. For us it was the right thing to do. It allowed him to do his own thing and me to not worry about what he was doin, it wasn't my business. By the time christmas came round we knew we were still really into each other so we got back together. Although that was a long time ago and we have long since moved on. The distance did eventually get to us.

Quite a few of my mates broke up just before uni or a couple of weeks after arriving. It's difficult but living on your own for the first time does change you a bit. Moving to a new place changes you. If you are already having doubts I would recommend you go your seperate ways now, it's easier. However, if you really honestly do have a rock solid relationship you may as well give it a go. At least you'll know you tried if it goes wrong.

If you do start uni single though.... you never know who you are going to meet.... Mr/Mrs Right may be just around the corner. 

Posted at 18:11:14 on 17-09-2005